A Little Something Extra

today i do not feel so holy. I do not interpret the world in such a positive light. 

“guilt cannot be forgiven. if you sin, your guilt is everlasting”

it does seem that way. it seems like the event of the mistake speaks to an error of creation, and even if it goes away and never shows again, the possibility for it remains forever–if it had once happened, it could happen again, and this makes it eternal. the eternal possibility of it happening again. 

Thus, even if I were free, the freedom would always be underscored with the fear of the mistake happening again.