A Little Something Extra

there’s a perpetual transfer of information

from god to me

it says do you see the love?

do you see the wonder?

of those quiet moments,

when the burden lifted off me. 

———————————-

did eve abandon god, or god abandon eve?

eve was made by god

if eve sinned, god made eve to sin

so god abandoned eve first, which lead to eve abandoning god

or no, not that she abandoned god, but she expressed gods abandonment by eating of the tree. 

god abandoned her by making her not loved by god, and as an unloved she did what the unloved do.

of course, this is absurd. it is absurd  because why would god abandon his child, his companion, his only? why make that which is not loved?  it must not be true. it stands to such a foundation of reason–it points to a level of “if, then” that is foundational. 

*there is an assumption that error, mistake, death, is an essential part of creation, as determined by creation itself, but it is never brought to reason to determine if it is reasonable to ascribe to creation the idea of hate, for why would creation hate? hate comes from the creation of creation. hate is ours. but we can only have what god gives us. and so, hate we do not have, hate is not a part of us. it is a strange illusion, mistake of reason, that produces a whole world of ideas based on it’s assumption. but it never stands to reason. it’s defense in the end is always “it is obvious,” but could that not be said of any illusion? do not illusions prove only themselves, and are a product and not an origin?

what if eve just thought god had refused her to eat of that one tree, that thing separated out from all other existence? what if she only thought she had disobeyed god, had angered god, and thus hide from him, ran away from eden and into a scary hell, while god cried out and said where is my child? and he wanted to find her and make her safe again, to sooth her and have he know his love, and her know the love of him, but that he had made her to love like himself, and true love requires choice. he waits for what he knows will come. she will return to the truth, and she will laugh, and think it silly, as all her fears and the product of her fears fade away. 

the choice is inevitable, because to love is our joy, our pursuit, our only desire that we hunt for in the darkness, not realizing that we hunt for something that we think we’ve lost that is actually unable to be lost, like hunting for your glasses when they’re on your face, they are on us, they are with us, love is not lost. it is our nature, we are nothing else, and the strange state of inexistance that we illusion we occupy as a rational consequence of the mistake, if it be true, is only an illusion because it is the product of an impossible idea.