A Little Something Extra

I am trying to see a more beautiful world. It exhausts me, as any effort would

But does my effort reveal something about me that condemns me as inherently bad? That the one who perceived evil is evil, and so I am an evil person trying to be good? Am I not my origins? Is this not a truth of cause and effect and the forward motion of change? All the causes ( and causes of causes) are in the effect, and the event of seeing evil, once seen, forever contaminates the whole and prevents it from ever being a body of truth?