A Little Something Extra

I don’t understand—

There’s a dark place behind my being, a place I instinctively want to call a core, localized in my chest, a true center, to the right of my heart,

It’s a place of aching. When I try to go there, I’m in an abject state, my mind is despairing and my perception is dull.

I seek and do not find. So this must not be truth. But what am I to do? Pretend it isn’t there?

The joy comes and goes, so I can’t call it lasting. He says he cannot say the meaning of love, but could he help me identify it? Is there a fool’s gold of love? The light of a fantasy, the pretty colors of an object of desire…